IF not (2009)

forgive me Rudyard

updated from 2005


I've lost my head so many times
In looking back they're almost crimes
When instead of trusting I's overcome with doubts
I waited and waited and got so tired
And I lied and lied and then conspired
To make myself the target of hate-filled shouts

I dreamed until I could dream no more
And thought to settle many a score
With who circumstance says make the rules
I used up all my mispent youth
Searching for the weapons of truth
That I could use to educate the fools

But no one listened, never did
And in my turn, I underbid
And lost so much I dared not start to cry
Now I drift upon the sea
That consecrates both you and me
And rarely do I stop not wondering why

The unforgiving minutes wasted
So many thirsts gone unabated
Still one thing's absolutely ever fair
My open eyes saw more than most
'Til I became an envied ghost
Failing in the learning not to care

stephenhsmith 11Jan2009